maybe

maybe I actually am as full of shit as I sometimes think I am.



I get frustrated when I hear people talk and talk and talk and ultimately say nothing.  It bothers me.  I want them to shut up.  I want to leave and not talk to them again.  (I should mention I'm specifically talking about people's world views, big conceptual statements, or - like today - my teacher's interpretation of an author's message.)

BUT.  that is only me thinking they aren't saying anything.  how arrogant of you, Brian, you ass-hole.  

is ass-hole hyphenated?  

who says you, Brian, are worth anything?  why would you even think you have more to say than another person?  why would you think you have anything worth saying at all??

my theory: I don't want to hear people's views on life because I'm an arrogant shit who's afraid he's wrong.  

haha just kidding, that's only part of it.  maybe most of it.  here's the rest:  I'm an arrogant shit because if someone else has come to a different conclusion than I have about the same thing, I think they must be wrong, or else I would have come to their conclusion.

today during English my teacher was boring me, so I took out my journal and wrote a little something.  here is part of it:

I've been over this before.  You can see the exact same reality as someone else from a different position and come up with two valid statements that say different things.  If two people saw Earth from opposite sides and each painted a picture of what they saw, they could try to argue about whose is right, or they could realize there is more to it than what each could see by himself.



now I just have to believe it.