above the belt

for the record, fuck the FAFSA. if you fuck-eating fuck-fucks didn't want to give me any money, you could have told me up front that I have to be an orphan or destitute to get anything besides the loans that are available to anyone willing to put themselves grossly into debt, and I could have foregone the hour-long application. don't act like you saying "Low-interest loans may be available to you, depending on the cost of the institution you will be attending and your year in college" is some act of generosity. I hope your website crashes forever and you all take baths in high-molarity nitric acid.

that being said, I love coffee shops. they're great to hang out at because... just because, ok? where else can you simply sit for three house and only spend $1.92 to satisfy the unspoken obligation to spend money in exchange for a chair in which to park your ass? granted, a movie theater has slightly more comfortable chairs (for the first hour, then they start sucking because they don't recline). but that'll cost you AT LEAST 2.2 times the hourly rate if you choose to make the theater your sitting place. and I tend to get bored very easily. I'm around the level of long-term-focusability as a first grade boy. the girls are better at sitting still and behaving, but those little boys will just start throwing shit if their environment lacks suitable stimuli for long enough. so I might get bored in a theater with a bad movie, and I'm SOL until the credits mercifully come. but in a coffee shop such as this that has free WiFi, I can feed my attention deficit with facebook, wikipedia, blogger, or any other internet realm of stupidity that I choose to frequent.

what else was on my mind? oh yeah, today I decided that it's not fair for men to fight with women verbally as well as physically. everyone knows it's not right for a male to get in a physical confrontation with a female, even those eraser-hucking first graders. but I'm saying that it's an unfair fight even when the fight is kept within the (somewhat, at least at the beginning...) civil bounds of discussion. why, you ask? oh you didn't ask? well I shall keep going anyway.

physical fighting isn't fair because it is obviously in favor of the guy. but I do declare that arguments are waaaaay easier for the woman to win. because guys can fight fair. or maybe somewhat more fairly. they'll stick to the issue and slug it out with some right hooks of logic and some quick left jabs of reason. and don't think I'm saying the fairer sex doesn't utilize these weapons. they can definitely land blows left and right. I'm still sore from a few recent good ones.

but girls.... they can win in one shot. after they get tired of duking it out fair and square and they just want it to be over, they go for the swift kick to the nuts. guys tend not to do this cuz that's just not what you do to win a fight and normally we respect this man law. but women... see, they CRY, and it isn't fucking fair! when you start crying, it doesn't even matter if I'm totally right and I know exactly the one-two combo I'm about to use to knock you down for the count, I'll put my fists down and say "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!!!" and hug you and say how mean I am and how much of a jerk I was being.

not all guys do that I guess, but I'm not a dick. so on behalf of every person who possesses a wiener but isn't a dick, I wanna say... it just isn't fair!!