Dear loud Chaldeans at the gym,

(if you're wondering what a Chaldean is, it's someone who owns a liquor store in El Cajon. or their cousin does.)

stop dropping the weights on the ground when you're done lifting them. I know you're thinking "Loud noise must mean I'm strong, bro!" but that's not the case. keep doing your bi's-and-chest workout, but do it more quietly please - set the barbell down like an evolved hominid.

stop standing in a group by the freeweights talking about how you went up to the guy at the party and said, "look, bro, I stabbed two fools over there! we run shit!" because I'm simply not impressed. all you run is your mouth and a rundown playground in El Cajon where you kick it with the homies. honestly, I'd be much more impressed to see you run on a treadmill and acknowledge that there are other muscle groups.

Regards,

Brian

P.S. - I'm not racist. I'm not hating on all Chaldeans. there are some there that I know and who are cool. but you other guys - and you know who you are - just knock that shit off. thanks.